“A Father’s Fear Begins to Evaporate”

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Date: 06-17-15

My Thoughts:

Many parents have the fear that they will irreparably emotionally damage their children. More often than not this fear feels more at home with the father, though not too far from some mothers, eh? But since Father’s Day is neigh upon us, I thought we’d encourage the dads among us. Yes, encourage….

I have counseled, known and heard of many a ‘dead-beat’ dad, but underneath this ‘dead-beat’ dad syndrome (to capture a phrase) is a deeply seated fear that paralyzes the dad. He is so fearful that he’s so screwed up there’s no hope of repair. Well, he has ‘screwed up’; clearly a self-fulling prophecy of sorts, but not beyond repair….

Yesterday, I was leading games for our VBS, and we were talking about how much Jesus cares for us from Matthew 6:33. While I was speaking to the small tikes of the K-1st grade group, as if on cue, a sparrow started singing in a nearby tree. I told the little ones to get really quiet and “tell me what you hear?” “I hear a bird,” chirped one of the older ones. Yes, and the Lord takes care of the sparrows. They don’t work or make food… But our Heavenly Father takes care of them. “Oh, come here,” and we found a blooming dandelion. (Bare with me, now.) The Lord even takes care of dandelions—which are weeds. “Are you more valuable than a weed.” One little girl sighed deeply, “No…,” as her voice trailed off. “Oh, honey, you are more valuable than a sparrow and much, much more valuable than a weed. And the Lord will take care of you even more and provide everything you need….”

Lifestyle worshiper, as I was talking, I was actually listening to myself. Strange, I know, but I was realizing that even when I do mess up, the Lord will take care of my “weeds,” and still make them something beautiful and useful…. (Not sure how useful a dandelion is, but in the eyes of a child they are very beautiful.)

So, dads, let the Love the Lord Jesus Christ has for you dispel any fears you may have of screwing up as a dad. Confess those times you have and forgive yourself as He has forgiven you, and then yield to His presence to be the best dad He has designed you to be. I know my fears are beginning to evaporate. I pray yours are, too.

Main Text: — Matthew 6:33 — But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. [NIV84]

Additional Scriptures to Renew Your Thoughts

   Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  — Colossians 3:13 (NIV84)

 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. —Ecclesiastics 3:11 (NIV84)

 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because He first loved us. — 1 John 4:16-19 (NIV84)

 Heavenly Father, as I realize more and more how much You really do Love me, extinguish this fear of failing as a father. Replace it with the same Love You have more me as demonstrated by Your Son, my Lord, Jesus Christ. In His Name, Amen. 

Pastor Mike

“Entitled Prodigals”

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My Thoughts:

Although the word, “prodigal,” has become synonymous with “wayward, rebellious runaway,”  it actually means “wasteful, extravagant reckless wild living.” I think this fits well with our entitlement culture. It seems to me that prodigals feel an extreme sense of “you owe me for my existence.” Perhaps I am reading too much into today’s main text (Luke 15:11-12), but it appears to me that the younger son is saying, “Father, you owe me. So give me what’s mine (even if it’s ahead of time)!”

The father does not fight this defiant, rebellious son, but instead gives him what the son thinks he deserves, and lets… him… go! Any parent knows how hard this is. It is hard enough when your child is leaving for college or the military or merely moving out on  his/her own, but when they are leaving on not-too-good-of terms, our hearts are bleeding….  But he also did not enable the son by negotiating or chasing after him; another heart-wrenching decision….

Ironically, I have also found that if I chase after a “prodigal,” I only entitle them all the more. I have inadvertently empowered and enabled them in their reckless temper tantrum. And the more I do rescue them, the deeper their sense of entitlement is driven…. Truly a lose-lose scenario.

This is why I admire the father in this story. He did not prevent his son from learning a very difficult lesson—the hard way. Nor did he chase after him. But as I observe the collection of stories in Luke 15, there is a common element of searching, though not as commonly taught. The shepherd diligently searches for the lost sheep—and finds it; the woman fervently searches for the lost coin—and finds it; and the father earnestly searches the horizon for his lost son—and ‘finds’ him! Though the father did not actively run after his son in search of him so as to entitle him again, he does eagerly run to his son, once the son has release this sense of entitlement (as evidenced in his returning). Truly, the son came to his senses….

Lifestyle worshiper, have you found that it displeases the Lord when we chase after “prodigals” well before they have come to their senses? I have. And I have done them a grave disservice. Yes, it is painful to remain ‘at home’ and diligently search the horizon, but it is far wiser—for the sake of the “prodigal,” don’t you think? Your thoughts?

Main Text: — Luke 15:11-12 — 11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.  [NIV84]

Additional Scriptures to Renew Your Thoughts

A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again. — Proverbs 19:19 (NIV84)

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?  —Luke 9:25 (NIV84)

 Everything [the teachers of the law and Pharisees] do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them ‘Rabbi. — Matthew 23:5-7 (NIV84)

 Heavenly Father, I find it fascinating that You sent Your Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to seek after the lost sheep of the House of Israel; You sent Him to the lost Samaritan woman at a well; and you sent Him to the lost crowds who were like sheep without a Shepard, but in wisdom He did go after the ‘prodigals’…. And yet He was available if they came to Him. Grant me the wisdom, insight, and courage to do the same. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

Pastor Mike